I believe today’s feeling of hope has to be as simple as positive reinforcement. I wrote (and posted) yesterday’s words out of fear and disappointment that I had let myself down. It was not exaggerated but it was exposing. So much so that I had to question if it was worth showing publicly.
I still have doubts about it, mainly because it paints me in one of two lights. According to how the post is interpreted, I’m either a manic depressive or extremely egotistical. I don’t even hope I fall in between the two. I just hope I’m neither.
Starting mariomergola.com, therefore, is nothing more than another outlet. It is not intended to be a blog. It is not intended to be updated every day. Or ever. I may never write on it again. The only thing I will continue to do is write. For no one but myself.
I have now written at least 750 words every day consecutively for almost one year. Shout out to 750words.com for being the inspiration and vessel for my words. The anniversary of this will come later this month.
Most of the time, I write garbage. There are times when I can think of nothing else to put on paper (or screen) besides the goings-on in my life, be it fantasy sports, video games, or random thoughts that appear and disappear in the middle of the night. In essence, it has become my journal. I am now Doug from my childhood. Tina is Patty Mayonnaise.
Throughout this writing, a few gems have appeared. Every once in a while, I would like to share them. Almost every single time, they are underdeveloped and don’t fit anywhere. The simple answer to post them on Facebook, but it doesn’t quite work that way. Long “status updates” don’t make sense in blog format, especially when taken out of context. This was the genesis of making some of my “journal” entries a little more public.
And what happens when I want to write about sports? I spent an entire day breaking down the American League Central division this year (to myself) and why I think the White Sox and Twins will surprise people (specifically Chicago). What do I do with that information? Tweet about “watch out for the ChiSox in ’14!” Maybe. But again, out of context.
I tried this before, and failed. (That should actually be my motto, as it has been written countless times in the past 350 days of consecutive writings…) I started a website of random blogs and, like many things I do, changed directions and had to start over. This will be attempt three. But again, “this” is not “that”.
This is not a blog. It is not even a journal. It is the only way I can share some thoughts. It will barely be edited. It will contain no pictures. The site itself will eventually become a host for the work I have done (videos, drawings, writings, etc.) only because I want a centralized location that I know won’t change going forward.
I urge you not to read most of what I write here. It serves no purpose and will provide no literary benefits. It will only provide an outlet for my thoughts. The only reason some will now be public, the only difference between this site and 750words.com, is for me to break through my own barriers.
I may not even link most of what I write, unless it has a direct audience or purpose. I will not obsess over updating this, or make any effort to stay on track. For the past year, this is how I have written. And it has made me feel good, despite the content at times.
I will not update this site. I will not worry about its maintenance. I will simply write and share what I believe deserves to be outside my mind. This will be my challenge. I will do this and only focus on writing.
For me.